I need help

Your not the only one having problems with this. in fact quite a few young
men bail out on God because they think its 2 hard of a trial not to be around
women. im a 14 girl. i think you are doing well if you are trying to start
your own church with pretty much nothing to support you. I hope God blesses
you. he has already, by giving you friends (brothers & sisters in christ)
that you dont know who can help you. and hes blessed you by helping you open
up with people. this will help you i promise. god gives some people talent to
share the gospel and others its a hardship. i can barely talk to people i do
know let alone others i dont. i feel like a failure sometimes because one of
the greatest guys in my life shares the gospel with such a passion. sometimes
i feel jealous :-) i will ask my youth group to pray 4 you i know God will
help you with your temptations. i have battled some and am still battling
with a few. since u were a teen, im sure u know some of the probs that we are
going thru. just keep praying and believe that God will get you thru this GOD
BLESS YOU!!!!! luv, a christian sister :) 4 GOD

I also pray for you and your struggles as well. i admire being a young woman
willing to give advise on this subject.. thank you and praise God..

its not new to me. last week i was in vegas an saw practically porn pics
everywhere: on the streets, bill boards, trucks, signs, cards, anywhere and
everywhere. there were guys trying to give me a card that gave the number of
a girl that could be with you in 20 minutes. i detested, but even there i met
someone that was handing out tracks to people on the street and people were
taking them. thats how i got on this website. i got one of the tracks and it
encouraged me. even if u dont know anyone on here, most people are willing to
give someone in need a hand. i dont know anyone on here,but just reading what
people have gone thru and that some of them go thru the same stuff that im
going thru helps alot. well, thats wat i think anyway. :-)

i agree. it helps a lot. i mean we wonder why God puts us through these
tests. all you have to do is look at the people have already been through
them and have learned from them.. They are more spiritual and more mature
because of it

yeah im really thankful 4 that :) i have wondered why god puts us thru these
tests as well. i still havent gotten a satisfying answer yet :) but ill find
out sooner or later i HAVE to. :)

James 1:2-4

U DO????!!! thats not fair :-) just kidding. God will tell me when he
delights. i had my youth group pray 4 u last nite. it was an amazing service
i just wanted u to know that there are people here who care about u.

what? you lost me. thank you for the prayers though. i really appreciate
them.

Please read this article. It may help. Resisting the devil is the most effective way to overcome, but oftentimes we need prayer and support.

http://bibleanswerstand.org/deliverance.htm

thank u so much 4 the article. i believe i will give it to my youth pastor
this sunday or wednesday. i believe he will luv it as well. i just wanted to
say that i hope God helps u to overcome ur temptations and may God bless u an
your friends and family!!!!!!!! :-) 4 God!

1 Thessalonians 4:3-7 (New International Version)says: "3It is God's will
that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality; 4that
each of you should learn to control his own body in a way that is holy and
honorable, 5not in passionate lust like the heathen, who do not know God;
6and that in this matter no one should wrong his brother or take advantage of
him. The Lord will punish men for all such sins, as we have already told you
and warned you. 7For God did not call us to be impure, but to live a holy
life." God doesn't want you to be bonded to that sin. When he sent Jesus to
die for you, that exactly what he died for. So that you would have the
freedom to break those chains that tie you down to things like that and to
repent and ask God for forgiveness. God adores you so much and its hurts him
when his children get caught up in things like porn. But it hurts him even
more that your struggling with it and it hurting you and your relationship
with him. Luckily, his love of rus is so immense that there is nothing you
can do to make you love him less. he loves you because he loves you because
he loves you because he loves you. That's it. It's never going to change. He
doesn't however love what you are doing, and if your willing, God will break
thos chains for you - sompletely destroy them, and you cant repent and get
your relationship back on track with him. I'm going to pray for you right now
(I'm going to type it up) and I know that the Holy Spirit will hear me and
use my prayers to help you get through this. So, God I just lift up haquad to
right now Jesus, that you would just love on him and you would just show him
how much you adore him. That he doesn't need porn to satisfy anything in his
life. God I pray that you would just break any and all bondage that he has to
that awful demon trickery. God that your love is so much more fufiling than
anything he can get from a porn site. God that if he could just get over this
and release that bondage God, and get his heart straight with you, that you
have an amazing woman for him that he is going to just fall in love with and
adore. God show him the udifference between your amazing love, and earthly
lust. God there is nothing sustaining in earthly lust, but your love can
sustain us forever. Jesus I pray that you would just give him the strength to
let go, to give it to you, to repent, and to have the courage to get up and
move on with his life. Also, God that he would have the courage to possibly
tell someone he knows about this, someone who won't judge him God, bring that
person into his life. He needs someone he can confessto and that can help him
throught this. Somebody who will kind of check up on him and make hes doing
okay. God I just thank you that you love us enough to do this for us. To be
willing to kick the devil in the butt and say no. You will no longer have any
control over my son. He is mine, I have created him in my image and I adore
him too much to let you get your filthy grimy hands on him. You are so
amazing God and I know you will do wonders in haquad's life. In your
precious, precious name I pray. Amen. I hope you go to God and get rid of the
bonds holding you down. Freedom is an amazing gift, and it's a gift God wants
to give you. I'll keep you in my paryer, but don't stop praying yourself.
Your sister in christ, :)

1 Corinthians 6:12-20 12All things are lawful unto me, but all things are not
expedient: all things are lawful for me, but I will not be brought under the
power of any. 13Meats for the belly, and the belly for meats: but God shall
destroy both it and them. Now the body is not for fornication, but for the
Lord; and the Lord for the body. 14And God hath both raised up the Lord, and
will also raise up us by his own power. 15Know ye not that your bodies are
the members of Christ? shall I then take the members of Christ, and make them
the members of an harlot? God forbid. 16What? know ye not that he which is
joined to an harlot is one body? for two, saith he, shall be one flesh. 17But
he that is joined unto the Lord is one spirit. 18Flee fornication. Every sin
that a man doeth is without the body; but he that committeth fornication
sinneth against his own body. 19What? know ye not that your body is the
temple of the Holy Ghost which is in you, which ye have of God, and ye are
not your own? 20For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your
body, and in your spirit, which are God's. I pray that you would be
strengthed in God's strength through Jesus that your eyes and ears may be
open and that the Fear and Love of God would come within you.

Anomalies in Sexual Orientation By Doug Fattig (copywrite 2007)
Homosexuality, bisexuality, fetishes of all types, and yes, even heterosexual
attraction to a specific type of person, have certain components in common
that can be attributed to "learned behavior." "Learned behavior," is here
used as a technical term of behaviorism. It has nothing to do with studying
or teaching, but rather dog drool, bells, and a Russian named Pavlov. Pavlov
was studying the digestive system in dogs. He would ring a bell to announce
time to feed the dogs and then present food so he could study the digestive
fluids that the dogs produced. He was surprised to find that after a while
his dogs would drool at the sound of the bell, even if there was no food
present. Just as Pavlov accidentally "taught" his dogs to drool at the sound
of a bell, we learn new behaviors every day in ways so subtle that we seldom
realize it. A child who's parent gives in when he whines will learn to whine
when he wants something. If you say "Don't do that," but snicker while saying
it when your child says a bad word, he will "learn" to swear more often. It
can even work without there being someone else to "reinforce" the behavior.
If a child becomes frustrated, and his frustration leads to anger so that he
hits a pillow and then feels some relief from his frustration, that relief
becomes positive reinforcement of the hitting behavior. The next time he is
angry, he will be more likely to hit something. If hitting a pillow loses its
effect, and he escalates to kicking his dog, and if that provides relief from
his frustration, he has learned to escalate to feel good. In this way, if
other factors do not intervene, he could become, by thousands of minute steps
over years of time, a violent person. Of course, it is rarely this simple.
Other factors must be entered into the equation. Is he being taught a moral
code that might cause guilt (a negative stimuli which reduces the likelihood
of the behavior reoccurring?) Does he find that he gets his way when he
expresses anger or is it counterproductive? Is he exposed to similar behavior
in others, and therefore either models it or loathes to see it in himself?
When it comes to maters of sexual behavior things are further complicated by
the very nature of sexual urges. Sexual feelings are one of the most powerful
reinforcing agents. They can also be a bit autonomous. Males can wake up in
the morning sexually aroused without even knowing why. If one happened to
become aroused, by pure chance, in a certain situation, or when thinking
about a certain person or object, the arousal could be associated with that
situation or object and then act as a reinforcement. If it happens often
enough, and other variables that might counter the effect are not present,
sexual arousal may be linked to that object, or type of person. An adolescent
male may find himself aroused when he glances at an advertisement for women's
under garments. This arousal may be a natural result of seeing a woman's
body, but the pleasure that such arousal brings, is it's own reinforcement
for looking the next time for the same type of stimuli.. If the boy seeks out
such ads in the future, he is further reinforced, and may even "pair" the
arousal with the actual garments being advertised. If this occurs, and he has
access to such garments, he could find himself being aroused by the garment
more than the original positive stimuli of what was in it. If he repeats this
activity enough, he could "habituate" and thus find it his main turn on. Far
down the road may come cross dressing or transgenderism. Or it may be side
tracked into another area, including of course, normal heterosexuality. A
more mainstream look at the mechanism may be had by taking a look at
pornography, (as a social phenomenon, not a practicum.) An alien from another
planet might find it strange indeed that many of the human species find
gazing at certain bits of paper highly sexually stimulating. What does paper
have to do with the urge to procreate? C. S. Lewis put it this way, "You can
get a large audience together for a strip-tease act. Now suppose you came to
a country where you could fill a theatre by simply bringing a covered plate
on to the stage and then slowly lifting the cover so as to let every one see
that it contained a pork chop or a bit of bacon, wouldn't you think that in
that country something had gone wrong with the appetite for food?" Popularity
of cooking programs not withstanding, there is nothing about a piece of paper
with a staple in the center, that should arouse such a hormonal frenzy. Yet
for many males at least, such paper products become their main sexual
interest and outlet. Of course, it is easy to understand, either in terms of
natural selection or the design of a Creator, why a man might find it
pleasurable to gaze at a woman or a woman at a man. Such natural desires
favor procreation and survival of the species. A lesser, but perhaps more
accessible, gratification can be found in looking at a picture of a woman.
The picture doesn't give you a dirty look back, which would be a negative
stimuli, so though the pleasure may be less than looking at someone real, the
negatives are less as well, and the accessibility is greater. This leads to
greater frequency of reinforcement. If fantasies that involve masturbation
are added to the mix, the reinforcement becomes greater still. Soon a piece
of paper becomes the prominent sexual stimuli in someone’s life rather than
the real thing. Take it a few steps further and the whole woman which is a
natural positive stimuli can be replaced by pictures of breasts, posteriors,
and genitalia. Anatomy favors heterosexual attraction. The plumbing just
works better. But this is far from absolute. And there can be much variation
in what people find attractive. Thin may be in now, but during many periods
of history, it was thought that plump was more comely. Obviously, what people
find attractive can be greatly influenced by popular opinion and culture.
Other factors such as early sexual experience or even sexual trauma, can have
a powerful influence as well. A quick look at the internet will reveal a
plethora of sexual fetishes including everything one could possibly imagine,
and many things few would ever want to imagine. It is highly unlikely that
someone could be born with a genetic propensity towards blondes, or finding
high heels stimulating, or desiring to be treated like an infant, diapers and
all. Yet such sexual preferences do exist, and once they become habituated,
they can be amazingly persistent. A further example of conditioning for an
anomaly in sexual orientation can be seen in how a child is "groomed" by a
pedophile. One case that was related to me started with the pedophile
attempting to arouse an adolescent male with pornographic pictures of women.
Once aroused he began pairing that arousal with talk of masturbation. At this
point the adolescent involved broke off contact. Had he not, the following
steps may have been used by the pedophile to produce a suitable victim. Once
arousal had been paired with masturbation he would have two very powerful
reinforcers at his disposal. If he can control access to pornography well
enough, so that he is the primary or preferred source, the child may start to
associate arousal that has been previously paired with pornography with the
older pedophile. Masturbation can further reinforce the behavior, and if it
is done in the presence of the pedophile, that too may be "paired" with the
pedophile himself. Once they had become associated in the victim's mind, the
pedophile would move on to touching. If the association had become strong
enough, the pornography might even be phased out. Then the touching becomes
more than touching and the boy's natural curiosity and attraction to the
female form has been replaced with a desire to have sexual contact with an
older man. These are all "learned behaviors" in the sense that we acquire our
tastes in a myriad of ways, most of which we are never cognizant of. Of
course, if they can be "learned", they can also be "unlearned" or redirected.
It should not be surprising to find that a sexual preference that has taken
perhaps decades to acquire, and that has become thoroughly habituated, and is
self reinforcing, will be difficult to redirect or change. It would also be
expected, that some, having expressed desire to change, will not, while
others struggle with varying degrees of success for years. Change is
possible. And it can occur in much the same way as the original sexual
preference was acquired. In small bits and pieces, over an extended period of
time. A subject wanting to consciously change or modify their sexual
preference would have to be very committed to doing so. One of the first
things to do is eliminate areas in your life style that reinforce the
behavior that you wish to extinguish. Just as a person who is trying to lose
weight should avoid "all you can eat" smorgasbords, a person who wished to
extinguish his desire for pornography, should avoid places where he is likely
to encounter it. A homosexual, if he wishes to change, should avoid gay bars.
Many programs that attempt to help gay men change to heterosexual, hobble
themselves by trying to treat gay men in groups. Clients of such programs may
find it more "treat" than treatment. The setting can create a self
reinforcing gay subculture within the therapeutic milieu. Other trappings
associated with the undesirable behavior should also be avoided. Music,
clothing styles, recreational activities, slang, and even mannerisms that are
paired with the behavior that one wishes to extinguish, may have to be
changed. A drug addict that I once worked with was unable to quit using drugs
as long as he continued listening to the "Grateful Dead." His appreciation
for what was harmless, (and good) music to others, had become too strongly
associated with drugs in his past. Listening to certain songs caused him to
think of drugs. Thinking led to wanting. Wanting led to using. For the
homosexual desiring change, all gay contact must be broken off. In fact, any
thing that is even remotely associated with the behavior targeted for
extinction, should be avoided as much as possible. A friend of mine worked
with male homosexuals who wanted to change their orientation to heterosexual.
One of the drawbacks that he had to work with was his own body, which was
exceptionally buff. His clients may have found it difficult to avoid
fanaticizing while talking to him. The person wishing to modify his sexual
tastes should avoid anything that, in his mind, was associated with the
behavior targeted for extinction. Masturbation must be avoided because it is
usually accompanied by fantasizing about the behavior you are trying to
eliminate. And in light of the powerful self reinforcing nature of
masturbation, one might end up habituating to the point that their main
romantic relationship is with their own hand. Thinking about it must be
avoided. To do this, one must carefully and truthfully examine himself to see
what triggers such thoughts. Another friend of mine (I’m old, so I’ve had
lots of friends over the past half century to draw on for examples) had a
problem with pornography. He liked it, but didn’t like liking it. One day,
while watching television, a program came on that while not pornographic, was
gratuitous in its use of young female skin. He exclaimed, “That’s enough
of that.” and immediately changed channels. Such behavior is necessary if
one expects to change. As much as possible then, temptation must be avoided.
And as long as I’m using theologically loaded terms I might as well betray
my bias by revealing some of the things in the Bible that are pertinent.
James 1 says,” Let no man say when he is tempted, I am tempted of God….
But every man is tempted, when he is drawn away of his own lust, and
enticed.” It is in the mind that thoughts begin, and in the mind where they
must be brought under control if one is ever to change behavior. This is not
easy. Even a benign thing, such as “silly monkeys” is difficult not to
think of once it is introduced as a subject not to think about. In fact, the
phrase “silly monkeys” is more likely to persist in your memory than the
main point of the preceding paragraph. And the more you try to not think
about it, the more you will. This problem is only compounded (many many
times) if you try not to think about something that not only have you been
conditioned to find sexually stimulating, but to which you have become
thoroughly habituated to thinking about. Just ask anyone who is struggling
with trying to quit a pornography habit. To quote Paul, “O wretched man
that I am! who shall deliver me from the body of this death?” But there is
hope, even as Paul infers in the very next verse, “I thank God through
Jesus Christ our Lord.” But how to accomplish this difficult task? Paul
gives us a hint when he says “Put to death, therefore, whatever belongs to
your earthly nature sexual immorality, impurity, lust, evil desires and
greed, which is idolatry.” Jesus said, “You have heard that it was said,
‘Do not commit adultery.’ But I tell you that anyone who looks at a woman
lustfully has already committed adultery with her in his heart.” This is
where it starts, and James tells us where it ends up. “Then desire when it
has conceived gives birth to sin; and sin when it is full-grown brings forth
death.” It is in the minutia of our cognitions, the smallest fragments of
our thoughts, that temptation begins. And it is here also that much of the
battle must be fought if we are to extinguish a habituated undesirable
behavior. I have found in my own struggle with pornography that once I allow
my mind to think about it, to dwell on it for even for a moment, to entertain
a fantasy; then the battle is lost and I will likely do the very thing that I
have decided that I don’t want to do. Here the Christian has a sizable
advantage over the secularist. The non- Christian has only his own
determination and whatever applied behaviorism he can bring to bear. The
Christian has all of that, plus the indwelling Holy Spirit to convict him of
sin, (yes, guilt can be good despite what you heard on “Rosie
O’Donnell”) encourage, empower and even to supernaturally intervene with
a miracle or two. Prayer is very important. The instant you find your mind
straying that direction start praying. First of all pray for forgiveness for
thinking that thought. Pray for forgiveness for the thoughts and behaviors
that got you into the mess in the first place. Pray for healing of your mind
and spirit. Pray for miraculous intervention in your life. Thank God for
being there and hearing your prayer. Distraction is another tool you can use.
Try to think of something else. Read the Bible. Go for a run. Do math
problems in your head. A friend of mine once said that God gave us His word
in Hebrew and Greek so that if we were ever tempted to sin we could conjugate
verbs. Anything to get your mind off the thing you don’t want to think
about. Surround your self with good Christian people. Go to church. Get
involved with a youth group if you can find a good one. Find someone that you
are not sexually attracted to that you can be responsible to. Talk to them
truthfully about your thoughts and failings. Pray with them about it.. Hang
out with people that are good for you and don’t reinforce the behavior you
wish to extinguish. Cultivate your spiritual life by reading the bible and
praying. A good place to start is Romans chapter 6 through 8. In it Paul
describes his own struggle with sin. “I do not understand my own actions.
For I do not do what I want, but I do the very thing I hate.” He goes on to
state, “for if you live according to the flesh you will die, but if by the
Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body you will live.” And ends with
the verse that has often pulled me out of the pits of depression, “For I am
sure that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things
present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, (insert your
personal vice here) nor anything else in all creation, will be able to
separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord.” It will be
difficult. That’s the nature of sin. But with God on our side how can we
not eventually overcome?

Hi brother, that is a great struggle in our christian life. Many times the problems we have to face are inward. The inward sin that indwells us fighting against the good in our being. One person brought up Romans chapter 6-8 and I've learned that that portion is good because it teaches us that we are not sinners because we sin, we sin because we are sinners. Sin is actually the person of Satan who dwells in our flesh causing us to sin. All the outward sins are manifestations of the sin in us that we have inherited from Adam. Though when we are saved, the sins we have committed are taken care of, we still have sin within us. It is similar to a criminal who has committed a crime and has finished his/her sentence in jail. While the person has taken care of the act of crime outwardly and the judge has pronounced that person innocent, it is very possible for that person to commit the same crime again if not worse because the problem is not the outward crime, but the criminal's inward being. Our fallen human nature fights against and overcomes the good in our being created by God. No matter how much we don't want to sin, no matter how much we set our mind to say "NO" to something we will still end up doing it. Whether it's lying or stealing or anything else, we are just sinners. However many don't know that we humans also have a spirit. There are actually three parts to man; our body, soul and spirit. Our spirit is actually an organ to contact God. It is not the same as our soul. Proverbs 20:27 says: "The spirit of man is the lamp of Jehovah, Searching all the innermost parts of the inner being." Other references are 1 Thess. 5:23, Rom. 8:16, 1:9 and many others. Apostle Paul also often talks about his spirit. 1 Cor. 6:17 says that when we are joined to the Lord, we are one spirit with Him. So now the Lord is in our spirit. There are many good verses I wish I could write down. So the Lord is in our spirit, but what he desires is to spread throughout our entire being. Yes, He is in us, but for many of us, He is only in our spirit. The Lord wants to sanctify us not only in our spirit, but also in our soul and body. But in order for that to happen, we need to cooperate with Him. Apostle Paul says that we must set our mind on the spirit. When we set our mind on our spirit, we enjoy life and peace. It's an exercise, it's a fight. Just like going to the gym to work out, I don't want to work out but I know it's good for me so I exercise my will to go running or to the gym. It's the same with our christian life, we must exercise our spirit to fight against our fallen human nature. It's nothing outward, it's not about making up our mind or anything, but the exercise of our spirit. This is my experience, when I exercise my spirit to contact the Lord, I enjoy life and peace. One practical way to apply this is when we go to read the bible. If we go to read the bible with our mind, to analyze and to gain some doctrine we don't experience life, peace or any supply. But next time you go to read the bible, first ask the Lord to wash and cleanse you with His precious blood and then read with your spirit. Meaning contact the Lord while you're doing it. Don't think too much or don't think at all, it doesn't matter if you understand what you're reading, just read to contact the Lord. Say "Lord, I need you. I want to contact you. Wash me with the water in the word." Call on His name, contact Him and spend much time with the Lord privately. Especially empty out all your worries, troubles and fear to Him. Go somewhere that is without distraction and where nobody will disturb you such as your room or outside somewhere else. You will find that if you do this daily, and it's important that you do this daily and consistently, you will find that the Lord will change you gradually, little by little. You will experience His peace and rest. Prayer is also very important, also learn to accept all situations from the Lord. If we don't depend on the Lord, all we will experience is failure after failure. We all have to learn to enjoy the Lord, like eating food, you don't analyze the food you eat, you just eat and enjoy it and your body gains supply from it. May you experience and enjoy the Lord as your grace and life supply.

god isn't real. get a better job

dude i have the same problems and it is so hard...
but one of my christian friends was once a satanist
and he told me one of the main ways that they would praise satan was threw masturbation and porn
and that helps me to just remember that everytime i do that stuff i am worshiping the enemy
...but the main thing that keeps me from that stuff is i remember in Hebrews (i dont remember the verse) but it says EVERY time we sin, no matter what it is, we re-crucify Jesus Christ over again and that just kills me thinking about it like that but its the truth.
I also like Genesis 6:5-6 which it talking about before God flooded the Earth and it says that he was so grieved from the peoples' sin that he had actually wished he never made mankind. And I believe that thats also how he feels with us after we sin (not that he doesn't love us even after that, it's just we hurt him SO bad that he cannot stand it.) but the list of verses i could tell you to look at is endless, but if you want you can send me a message and i'll try my hardest to help. :)

P.S. about the money issue, dont worry about that because one thing I've come to realize is if something is God's will, no matter how hopeless it may seem, he will make a way.